November Sunday School: Spiritual and Temporal Self Reliance - How can I learn to make my own decisions.

This is a great lesson for today's youth! As a preschool teacher/childcare provider I have spent many hours with young children and have taken many courses on their brain development and behavior and have learned as well from the experiences I have had with my own 7 children regarding the important skill of decision making.  When children are young if they are constantly told exactly what to do with no thought process on their part, what they learn is to listen to an external voice.  They will continue to listen to and seek out an external voice to tell them what to do throughout their growing years, but the source will change.  They may start out listening to parents and teachers but usually the voice they listen to changes, as they age, to their friends and to the media they are exposed to. How scary!  Children who are given choices, within reasonable limits, and who are taught to think through choices from a very early age learn that they can think for themselves and make choices on their own.  If they have been given the opportunity to suffer consequences from small, harmless "bad" choices, such as staying up too late one night and being very tired the next day, they are given a chance to develop the skills needed for internalizing cause and effect and have a greater appreciation for making good decisions.  In my home, by the time a child reaches teenage years I expect them to make many of their day to day choices by themselves.  I always give guidance and counsel and I do have house rules, but I want them to make their own choices so they can make small mistakes and learn from them now, instead of the mistakes being big and costly later when they are on their own.  I love this lesson for Sunday School!  Here is what I have planned:

How can I learn to make my own decisions?

An important part of being self-reliant is learning how to make decisions for ourselves. Heavenly Father is willing to guide us, but He does not always tell us exactly what to do. He has given us agency and expects us to use our knowledge, experience, and faith to guide our own decisions. We can then ask Him to confirm to us whether our decision is correct.

Read together Doctrine and Covenants 58:26–29. Why does the Lord not want to “command [us] in all things”? Ask the youth to list on the board the important decisions that they might make over the next 10 years. Invite them to think about how the things they learn during this lesson can help them make these decisions.

In Alma 37:37 we read...
  37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
What does it mean to counsel with the Lord?

D&C 9:7-9 says...

 7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

 8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

 9 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me.

What does it mean to "study it out in your mind?"

  

Good, Better, Best  Conference talk by Dallin H. Oaks

 "We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

 As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all."

For this part of the lesson I thought it would be fun to do an activity. I am going to teach the kids a lesson about value. I love Elder Oaks' story about the catalog and shoes and I want to do a hands on value lesson with the kids.  I am going to have them do a brand evaluation on potato chips.  I have 3 bags of chips which I will show them unopened first.  I am going to ask them based on sight, cost and past experience which one they would purchase right now. They will each be given an evaluation form for each brand, which will be numbered 1, 2, and 3, to keep it a blind taste test. They will be tasting and evaluating on the following criteria using a 1-10 scale:

1. Color appeal. 

2. Shape and size.

3. Smell.

4. Texture. (greasiness).

5. Taste (flavor, saltiness).

Overall score, taking all criteria into consideration:

Total points: 

(The following information will be given after the 3 taste tests are completed.)

Brand name:

Cost:

After all the taste tests are completed we will discuss their results and talk about which one is of the most "value" to them. Did the taste test change their mind at all?  Sometimes the more expensive is the better value because the quality or appeal is better, not always though. The point of the exercise is to teach them to evaluate and study out their decisions.  Also, to make decisions themselves instead of going with what is "popular" or most advertised.  Sometimes that is the best choice, but they need to learn to make that choice for themselves and not just follow the crowd or trust the brand because they have the most money to advertise.

Next I want to show them a visual aid for reading the scriptures.  I learned this many years ago. It has helped me when I think about studying the scriptures.  It is called "Water Skiing, Snorkeling, or Scuba Diving through the Scriptures."

Water Skiing:  Water skiing is just skimming the surface of the water.  For reading scriptures this is when you read the scriptures just for the goal of reading. You read and don't really get much out of what you are reading. It is "good" to be in the habit of reading daily and some days reading a set number of chapters or verses and saying, "I did it" is all we can do. 

Snorkeling:   Snorkeling in water means going just under the surface.  When you snorkel in the scriptures you read to understand what the verses are saying about the people in the time they were written.  You study to understand how they apply to them and to understand the stories and lessons. It requires a little more effort and is "better" than the water skiing method.

Scuba Diving:   Scuba diving is really going deep in the water.  It requires effort and concentration and focus.  Really going deep into the scriptures you are studying means learning what they mean for you and your life.  Studying and cross referencing and really searching them to understand how they apply to you and what you can use from them right now and in the future.  This is the "best" way to read and study the scriptures.

Now that we have discussed how to make decisions, what can we do to seek out Heavenly Father's will for us in our decisions?

Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer Conference talk by Richard G. Scott

How Should You Pray?

  "We pray to our Heavenly Father in the sacred name of His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. Prayer is most effective when we strive to be clean and obedient, with worthy motives, and are willing to do what He asks. Humble, trusting prayer brings direction and peace.

  A key to improved prayer is to learn to ask the right questions. Consider changing from asking for the things you want to honestly seeking what He wants for you. Then as you learn His will, pray that you will be led to have the strength to fulfill it."

How Are Prayers Answered?

  (We are going to read the following parts of this talk and discuss the highlighted portions.  This talk has some really great truths and insights into prayers and answers to prayers.  I love the whole talk, but time won't allow for the while thing so I have chosen from this section that I feel will be most helpful to my class.)

"Some truths regarding how prayers are answered may help you.

  Often when we pray for help with a significant matter, Heavenly Father will give us gentle promptings that require us to think, exercise faith, work, at times struggle, then act. It is a step-by-step process that enables us to discern inspired answers.

  I have discovered that what sometimes seems an impenetrable barrier to communication is a giant step to be taken in trust. Seldom will you receive a complete response all at once. It will come a piece at a time, in packets, so that you will grow in capacity. As each piece is followed in faith, you will be led to other portions until you have the whole answer. That pattern requires you to exercise faith in our Father’s capacity to respond. While sometimes it’s very hard, it results in significant personal growth.

  President David O. McKay testified, “It is true that the answers to our prayers may not always come as direct and at the time, nor in the manner, we anticipate; but they do come, and at a time and in a manner best for the interests of him who offers the supplication.” ³ Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. Your character will grow; your faith will increase. There is a relationship between those two: the greater your faith, the stronger your character; and increased character enhances your ability to exercise even greater faith.

  Some misunderstandings about prayer can be clarified by realizing that the scriptures define principles for effective prayer, but they do not assure when a response will be given. Actually, He will reply in one of three ways. First, you can feel the peace, comfort, and assurance that confirm that your decision is right. Or second, you can sense that unsettled feeling, the stupor of thought, indicating that your choice is wrong. Or third—and this is the difficult one—you can feel no response.

  What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, one of two things will certainly occur at the appropriate time: either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision."

I sent home a copy of the last page of the lesson, the section on prayer, with each class member.  They will earn their second pizza party ticket after they share and teach this part to their families, either at dinner tonight or as part of FHE tomorrow night.

When preparing a lesson I try to always have enough material to fill the time, but I also do not become invested in the whole lesson I prepare! This has been my model for any class I teach to any age. If we are on one particular part of the lesson and the class is really engaged and learning and feeling the Spirit, I will stay with it, even if it takes up the entire lesson time!  These youth are so smart and have so much to share, if I can just coax them into sharing, that I do not need to prepare super lengthy material.  I am sure this lesson will have more than enough to work with! :)